We don’t see each other often, and we don’t speak to each other much. We wave to each other through the car window as I’m hugging the boys and saying goodbye. Or we say a polite, “Hi, how are you?” as I’m kissing their cheeks while they buckle their seat belts in the backseat of the car. Then they ride away with you and their father. We might see each other and talk a little bit more when you come to the big events like my youngest son’s birthday party in the park, or my oldest son’s Rubik’s cube competition.
I want you to know something I’ve never had a chance to tell you.
I appreciate you.
The role that you provide to my children is valuable. That you’re able to provide some mothering to them when their mother isn’t there. When someone is getting to know me and asks if my boys’ father is in a relationship and whether or not I like her, I always say, “I don’t know much about her, but the boys like her, and that’s all that matters to me.” The boys talk about you often. Everything they’ve said about you has been positive. I don’t know how they act towards you, but I hope they are as kind to you as they say you are to them.
I know your role isn’t always easy. I’m also mothering another woman’s children half of the time. There are many challenges that come with that. I know it’s hard when you love and care for them like your own children, but the final decisions regarding them are always up to their father and mother. Regardless, I know that any guidance, wisdom, love, kindness, compassion or skills you can show them will help them grow into the successful young men we all hope they will be.
I don’t know what your plans for the future hold, because, frankly, it’s none of my business. However long you decide to stay, I want you to know that even though the only support and approval you need comes from the father of my children, you have mine too.
Thank you for caring for my children.